Hire a Gramps — Seasoned business admin support

A note from Allan — Cape Town, 2026

Look, I'll be honest with you.

I'm in my seventies. I've spent forty-plus years running and supporting small and mid-sized businesses — the kind of work where the phone just has to be answered, where the invoice has to go out, where the customer who's three months late paying needs a firm, polite, grown-up conversation — not a passive email from someone who's never chased money in their life.

I'm not ready to stop working. And frankly, you probably can't afford to hire someone my calibre full-time. But here's the thing: you don't need me full-time. You need me for the four or eight or fifteen hours a week when the admin is eating you alive and keeping you away from actually growing your business.

I'm reliable. I'll pick up the phone. I'll write the email that gets the response. I've handled difficult customers, stubborn suppliers, and overdue accounts for decades — it doesn't ruffle me anymore.

If that sounds useful, let's have a chat. The first call is free, and I don't do contracts. You pay me for what I do, and if it's not working, we part ways as friends.

Allan

Your gramps-for-hire

~ what allan does ~

The kind of work that nobody in your office wants to do.

Debt Collection

Chasing overdue accounts is nobody's favourite job. Allan's been doing it for decades — firm, polite, legal, and effective. Most debtors respond to a well-pitched phone call from a seasoned adult. It's a lost art.

Quotes & Invoicing

Preparing proper quotes. Sending invoices that actually get paid. Following up on the ones that don't. All the bookkeeping-adjacent work that sits on your desk for two weeks because you hate it.

Phone Tasks

Supplier follow-ups. Appointment bookings. Confirming orders. Returning calls to clients who need reassurance. Every hour you spend on the phone is an hour you're not running your business.

Customer Liaison

The customer who needs hand-holding. The one with a complaint. The one who just needs to feel heard. Allan's natural warmth and patience turns difficult conversations into loyal relationships.

General Admin

Data entry. Filing. Scheduling. Email triage. Document preparation. The quiet, essential work that keeps a business running — done properly, without drama, on time, every time.

Whatever Else

Have something odd that needs doing? Ask. Forty years in business means Allan's probably done something like it before — or he'll tell you straight if it's not his thing. No time wasted either way.

~ why allan ~

Four decades of knowing exactly what to say.

Experience you can't fake. Judgment you can't teach. At a rate that makes sense for a small business owner who isn't made of money.

He's been there before

The awkward call. The difficult customer. The tough negotiation. Allan has had every version of every business conversation, and he knows exactly what to say — and when to say nothing at all.

He answers the phone

Sounds simple. It's not. In an age of ignored calls, delayed replies, and WhatsApp voice notes, Allan's old-school reliability is genuinely rare — and your customers will notice immediately.

He's not going anywhere

Junior admins leave. Agencies swap your account to a new junior every six months. Allan is in his workshop-of-one for the long haul. Consistency, institutional memory, trust.

He charges like a grown-up

No inflated agency rates. No onboarding fees. No lock-in contracts. Hourly or monthly, pay for what you use, and cancel anytime. Experience priced fairly because Allan wants the work, not the hustle.

~ what it costs ~

Simple, honest pricing.

Indicative rates — the first call is always free, and we'll work out what makes sense for your actual needs. No contracts, no nonsense.

Pay-as-you-go

For one-off tasks or when you just need help now.

R250 / hr

Billed in 15-minute increments

No minimum commitment
Invoice at end of month
Phone & email support
Cancel anytime

Start here

You probably have some questions.

Is Allan actually good with computers?+

Yes. He's been using office software, email, and accounting packages for longer than most tech startup founders have been alive. Email, Excel, Word, Gmail, Google Docs, WhatsApp Business, Sage, Xero — all fine. The myth that people over 70 can't use computers is just that: a myth.

How does the actual arrangement work?+

We have a free 30-minute call to work out what you need. Allan sends you a simple one-pager outlining what he'll do, the hours, and the rate. You say yes or no. If yes, he starts. Invoices go out monthly. Cancel anytime. No contracts longer than one page.

What sort of businesses does Allan work with?+

Small to medium-sized business owners who are drowning in admin they shouldn't be doing themselves. Tradespeople, consultants, small agencies, retail owners, anyone with an ageing debtors book. If you're spending four hours a week on admin you hate, Allan's probably a good fit.

Is my information safe?+

Yes. Allan signs an NDA as standard. He's spent his career handling confidential business information — debtor lists, supplier terms, pricing — without drama. Discretion isn't a policy for him, it's a reflex.

Can Allan work with my clients directly? Answer my business phone?+

Absolutely. Many clients have Allan answer a dedicated line or respond to emails under the business's banner. "Allan from [your company] here" is something he says many times a day. Your customers will get the experience of a seasoned receptionist — without you paying for one full-time.

Where is Allan based? Can he work outside Cape Town?+

Allan is in Cape Town but the work is 95% remote. He's worked with clients in Johannesburg, Durban, and even a couple of UK and Australian small businesses on SA time. As long as you have email and a phone, geography doesn't really matter.

What if I only need a few hours of help?+

Totally fine. The pay-as-you-go option starts at a single hour. Some clients use Allan for one specific ongoing task (like weekly debt follow-ups) for just 2-3 hours a week. Start small, scale up if it's working.

Meet Allan.
Your new unfair
advantage.